Home Sweet Home

am i one of them? or am i gonna be one?

or i was one of them? I dont know.

Those questions keep running in my mind.

Am i denying it? or am i gonna deny it? or did i deny it already?

I have no idea. I never figure it out.

What if i am one of them?

What if i'm denying it? What if?

I'm not sure. i dont know anything anymore.

I dont wanna know. No, i'm afraid to know.

Will i be punished? What if they found out?

Will they judge me? or they are judging me?

Those really are haunting me.

I know i'm a sinner. I know it's a mistake.

I know i screwed up. I know i should not.

I know... but i cant get rid of it.

The feelings, the dreams, the fantasies...

will its become real?

Sometimes some parts of me wish it would.

and the others refused to.

Do i too close with it?

It's just everywhere.

In my right, left, up, down, front, behind...

It's following me. or i am following?

3 times. I tried. I failed. I'm alone, it reaches me. Tried again, it came even bigger.

Now it seems like unstoppable.

where should i share it?

i thought i could handle it.

i knew i could. But it's just too bigger for me now.

God, hope you wont take me soon.

Not until i can conquer this feeling.

These sins, this mistakes...

It's so painful. I wanna cry, but i vowed to not to.

It's uncureable now. or Maybe someday it will.

One for sure. I have to live with it now.